The Mariupol Amusement Park
by Douglas Gilbert
[The Haunted House Tour (draft 2)]
Certain Russian Oligarchs love
dangerous amusement parks.
The chief always says
if one guest dies accidentally
you attain three with largesse.
The building that I guard and show
is part of a haunted house tour —
scares for a known fee — to
include a haunted mill in lore
at no abhorrent extra cost
I’m a night watchman here
with a healing sore throat, but
it’s my job at my steel works
I work the graveyard shift
that begins at midnight and
people incognito who buy tickets
find scary regrets and woes
for entertainment, lo
although my building is just a
derelict steel plant dump
I still scream for believers
when the ghosts show up
though not everyone sees them.
We sell more tickets when I cry.
It doesn’t actually take a lot of acting skill
because the children often say, oh
they want to see the sun, and
my wife, her Mother, and our precious Mikhaila
spoke about sunshine on a video
in a bunker, a while ago.
Sometimes I recite a psalm
to keep the customers calm,
and away from a mockery
I cajole them into not breaking
the apparition rules:
Never tell them it’s “The Light,”
and not the sun they should seek
Besides seeking the sun,
some children ask
where Mommy is.
It can be a problem when
a Mom comes for her child
and they disappear. Then
there can be a shortage of ghosts.
Sad, but in this exhibit
we must consult
“Putnik’s Manual for
The Promulgation of Accidents in War”
The chief always says
if one customer blows away,
you gain back three.
So an accident happens.
Cruise missiles apparently
can malfunction,
or there’s a strategic cave-in,
it is said.
Since we don’t make steel anymore
all of this is necessary, and
we need a land bridge to
the Devil’s headquarters.
Poignant Pointed Poems & Puffery Stuffing 